de agony of da-feet

How many pairs of shoes is too many pairs of shoes?

Yesterday, I was researching something for work when I stumbled upon - okay, I purposely took a break and went to - my favorite online shoe website, Zappos.com. I saw the CUTEST platform shoes that...well...I just HAD to have. Heck, they were only $35 and they were WAY adorable. Flowered platform soles. Tan to match either jeans or my white pants for the summer. Just high enough to make me taller. But just as I clicked on the "purchase" button, I had a sudden pang of "do I really NEED these shoes, or do I just WANT these shoes?" Tough call. Easy to justify the latter, but I thought I should be a big girl and sit on this for a day. If the urge was still strong this morning, I was going to buy these shoes, darn it!

So last night I decided to figure out how many shoes I actually owned. Stacked neatly in my closet are piles of shoe boxes. 25 on the floor. Not bad...I only have 25 pairs of shoes! Why that's nothing for a working woman in 2006! But then I remembered...wait...I have more under the bed. 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31. 31 Pairs of shoes. Oops...and about 20 pairs in California (for those of you who don't know, I work in Michigan, but my home is California). So let's call it 51 pairs of shoes. Still not a crime. Not a sin. No Imelda Marcos am I.

I mean, every pair of shoes I have, I actually NEED, right? Some are for winter, some are for summer, some are for dress-up, some are for jogging (even though I haven't actually BEEN jogging since the ninth grade). And what about the rain boots!?!? I really needed those rain boots! What if I'm stuck in a storm somewhere and - well - have to prepare sandbags during a hurricane! I need those cute, flowered rainboots!

And let's face it, half of my shoes are from Payless. Who can pass up the B.O.G.O. (buy one get one half off) offer that every summer brings? Not I! So it's not like I've spent millions on my 51 pairs of shoes. I have been frugal in the past. What's an extra $35 added to the mix?

What to do...what to do...what to do...

Afterall, as the website says, they're a "stylish platform slide that's perfect for the warm weather." They have a "lightly padded footbed" and "gorgeous floral detailing along the heel and base." How can I pass up gorgeous floral detailing along the heel and base?!?!? I would be doing the entire shoe industry an injustice if I chose to do so!

So I sit here at my computer this morning, staring at the shoes online, ready to spend the $35 bucks to get these shoes. I need a sign. I need divine intervention. WWPD?*

*What would Paris do?

19 down...10 to go

Tomorrow will be day one of week fourteen of my adventure in Weight Watchers. I've lost 19 pounds (as of last Wednesday) and have about 10 more to go. Technically I have 7, but I'd like a couple of pounds to play with so that if I end up eating Tater Tots or a Fatburger, it won't throw me into a guilty tailspin. REALLY technically I have about 20 to go, in order to look like my friends in L.A. (picture Heather Locklear, Denise Richards, Pam Anderson). In bikinis they look amazing. My goal is to look like them in a bikini. Heck, my goal is to look like them in a PARKA! Anything. I just want stick legs and no cellulite and a good butt and arms that don't flap in the wind. Shit...maybe it's not even possible. I don't know. But I do know that I'm gonna try, darn it.

I sometimes think about the fact that I'm over 40 and married and, really, the weight thing shouldn't even matter to me. Isn't that the way it goes? But it matters. For some reason - maybe it's a midlife crisis or something - I have felt the need to try to look better. Like it's my last chance before becoming a granny. With menopause looming behind a tree just around the corner somewhere, I am desperate to get the last ounce of "pretty" out of myself before it all goes down the drain. I mean, what if my husband suddenly dumps me and I'm back out on the market? There is no way on God's Green Earth that I'd let a man see me naked. No way. I don't even let me see myself naked at this point. It's too frightening. So maybe this weight loss thing is an insurance policy just in case I'm dumped and find myself cavorting with my own little Ashton Kutcher somewhere. Look at Demi. My age. Thin. Shiny hair.

That's my next project: shiny hair.

* For anyone who is keeping track, as of January 2007, I have officially lost 35 pounds! So, yes, I did lose the above aforementioned 10 pounds, plus another 6 to boot! Still would like to lose a couple of more, but overall, I have reached my goal! THANK YOU WEIGHT WATCHERS!