19 down...10 to go

Tomorrow will be day one of week fourteen of my adventure in Weight Watchers. I've lost 19 pounds (as of last Wednesday) and have about 10 more to go. Technically I have 7, but I'd like a couple of pounds to play with so that if I end up eating Tater Tots or a Fatburger, it won't throw me into a guilty tailspin. REALLY technically I have about 20 to go, in order to look like my friends in L.A. (picture Heather Locklear, Denise Richards, Pam Anderson). In bikinis they look amazing. My goal is to look like them in a bikini. Heck, my goal is to look like them in a PARKA! Anything. I just want stick legs and no cellulite and a good butt and arms that don't flap in the wind. Shit...maybe it's not even possible. I don't know. But I do know that I'm gonna try, darn it.

I sometimes think about the fact that I'm over 40 and married and, really, the weight thing shouldn't even matter to me. Isn't that the way it goes? But it matters. For some reason - maybe it's a midlife crisis or something - I have felt the need to try to look better. Like it's my last chance before becoming a granny. With menopause looming behind a tree just around the corner somewhere, I am desperate to get the last ounce of "pretty" out of myself before it all goes down the drain. I mean, what if my husband suddenly dumps me and I'm back out on the market? There is no way on God's Green Earth that I'd let a man see me naked. No way. I don't even let me see myself naked at this point. It's too frightening. So maybe this weight loss thing is an insurance policy just in case I'm dumped and find myself cavorting with my own little Ashton Kutcher somewhere. Look at Demi. My age. Thin. Shiny hair.

That's my next project: shiny hair.

* For anyone who is keeping track, as of January 2007, I have officially lost 35 pounds! So, yes, I did lose the above aforementioned 10 pounds, plus another 6 to boot! Still would like to lose a couple of more, but overall, I have reached my goal! THANK YOU WEIGHT WATCHERS!